Fight, Flight, and Freeze: What we still misunderstand about survival

Thirty-three years ago, a man attacked and raped me. I froze. I froze during the attack. I even froze as I saw the attack coming in slow motion. I invested a lot in self-blame after that attack. I completely devoted myself to becoming a fighter. I trained martial arts for twenty-five years. I was flipped,… Continue reading Fight, Flight, and Freeze: What we still misunderstand about survival

The Accuser Becomes the Accused

I teach self-defense. I tell students our voice has power, and I believe it. I encourage survivors to tell their story because doing so is part of the way out from under the shame of sexual assault. There is strength in numbers, power in recognizing we are not alone, healing in telling others who respond… Continue reading The Accuser Becomes the Accused

The Risky Business of Reporting Sexual Assault

On July 5, 2020, Arica Waters, a 27-year-old Black female cop in Put-In-Bay Village, attended a pool party hosted by Jeremy Berman, a White detective with the Put-In Bay police department. Waters claims she was sexually assaulted by Berman that night after the party, and again the next morning. She would soon find out that… Continue reading The Risky Business of Reporting Sexual Assault

Victim Blaming: How We Do It, Why We Do It, and the Price We All Pay

Recently I read an article about a survivor of a grizzly crime. I found myself feeling I would have responded to the attack differently, better of course. This snap judgment gave me a quick reassurance that I could manage the unmanageable. But I wasn’t there, I wasn’t traumatized, I wasn’t the one whose life was… Continue reading Victim Blaming: How We Do It, Why We Do It, and the Price We All Pay